Harpies & Cat Fights: Is the Double Standard Alive and Well in BigLaw?

This is the first in a series of posts on the gender double standard applied in large law firms.  Not breaking news, to say the least.  But with the JD class of 2011 now studying for the bar (truly the dreariest summer of my life) a pep talk of sorts is in order……..

It pains me to observe that gender diversity in large law firms has, during my career, progressed at a snail’s pace. I graduated from law school (men and women then enrolled at an approximately 5 to 1 ratio) with the highest hopes.  My generation took for granted that we would pave the way for gender equity in our professions.  Yet, decades later, parity of enrollment has barely moved the partnership needle at large firms, where women normally account for less than 20% of stakeholders.

To be clear:  Gender bias has informed, but not defined, my career.  At times it has infuriated me.  At others I have felt myself tougher and better for having avoided or overcome it.  Much of the time I haven’t noticed it (or I haven’t looked for it).

Easy for me to say.

The truth is that I have led a charmed life compared to so many of my colleagues, especially women lawyers of color.   (The National Association of Law Placement reported that in 2010 lawyers of color accounted for 19.7% of all associates and 6.1% of all partners. Worse, women of color were just 11% of associates and 1.9% of partners.)  In building my practice, I mainly partnered with male lawyers (there were few women my age), in a highly collegial firm culture, and my clients were about 30% female. Of these colleagues and clients the vast majority offered me friendship, loyalty and respect throughout my career.  (I know few similarly blessed young lawyers.)

While I do not, therefore, seethe over my treatment as a woman in the legal profession, I am deeply worried about the young women I mentor and coach—so I make sure I consider their reactions to remarks such as those following a recent post in The Careerist.  Today I rise to the apparent bait, to offer suggestions (albeit imperfect) for dealing with the double standard of which those remarks are a symptom.

Declining Numbers

In “Women Spurn Law Schools”, Vivia Chen examined the steady decline in women enrolled at preeminent law schools, citing statistics from the MBA site Poets and Quants and the ABA Blog that show women lagging behind men at 9 of the top 10 ranked schools.  (Only Boalt broke 50%.)   Equally disheartening: Women at law school have it all over their sisters in B-School, who consistently occupy barely a third of the class and face disproportionately greater challenges in post-grad job searches.

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“Harvard Law Review: Ante Femina”

The organizations Chen surveyed echoed the blogosphere’s message of the moment:  Although women continue in “meaningful numbers” in the legal profession, the relentless flow of dispiriting information on law schools, law jobs and the economy (not to mention lackluster progress by women lawyers) would discourage the toughest-minded female applicant.

Harpies

None of this, of course, is news–most certainly not to those jaded doyennes who have practiced for more than a decade or two.   But it is painful.  And the caustic comments to Chen’s blog (reminiscent of an Above the Law open thread) will remind some of you of at least one not so recent encounter:

One member of Chen’s audience scorned her for over-examining “the woes of not having male genitalia in the legal profession”.

 Another suggested a better name for the blog, including my favorite: “The Harpy”.   (This one, I’ll admit, suggests an education in the classics to which I offer an enthusiastic hat tip.)

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“Harpy Lawyers Complaining”

To be fair, Chen’s detractors likely share the frustration faced by the many lawyers now faced with making a living– and having a life –in a rapidly transforming profession offering fewer jobs, decreasing opportunities for advancement and a profoundly uncertain future.   Even so.

Hen Parties and Cat Fights

In my effort to rise above it all (not so simple in The People’s Republik of Cambridge), I found myself recalling a few representative vignettes.

I remembered coming back to the office, after running a two-day retreat for all the women lawyers at my firm, and (1) being asked how the “hen party” went and (2) feeling irritated but unsurprised. 

 Then there was the Friday afternoon when a group of colleagues and clients hoisted a glass to celebrate closing a contentious $500 million acquisition financing.  As I described with amusement an especially colorful exchange with my talented female counterpart at the opposing law firm one of the clients gleefully cried: “Cat Fight!”.  Not especially funny, but routine.  

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“Peggy:  An Aggressive and Rather Screechy 6th Year Associate”

These types of wisecracks – if (a) not the norm and (b) confined to the acknowledged profilers in the crowd–are best ignored. Often, they matter little in the grand scheme of things.   However, if enough credible, respected and powerful people nod, chime in or laugh at the quip in question, the workplace culture will suffer.

When my practice was booming (and I considered myself immune to sexism) I was rarely troubled by this sort of silliness, at least coming from beloved colleagues who had long since demonstrated their respect, affection and loyalty.

But now I am fighting the good fight for the future, not for myself:  That night at the bar my female associate didn’t find the “cat fight” remark especially hilarious.   Worse, the clever “hen party” line, with its progeny, convinced several star female associates to stay away from the next women’s event, rather than be associated with the petulant, insubstantial members of a “special needs” affinity group.

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“Women Lawyers Retreat :  Break-Out Session on Work-Life Balance”

So, yes, the gender double standard is no less alive and well in BigLaw than it is in business.

How Should We Manage and Deter Gender Bias?

There are absolutely no easy answers to that question.  Any advice will vary broadly depending on personal style, character, interpersonal strengths and career strategy.  But I can offer a few examples of the gender double standard in action, and some thoughts on ways to understand and manage, if not avoid, the results.  Here’s one from my own experience as a transactional lawyer.

 #1  Male and Female Negotiating Styles

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The Contradiction:

Male lawyers who are combative, testy or aggressive are often described as tough or brash or, perhaps, as “street fighters”. They are usually considered worthy opponents and decent (if not masterful) advocates, albeit “sharp-elbowed”.  Irritiating to their colleagues, these guys will nonetheless get the good work if they are smart, effective and self-confident.  So here’s Don–A fith year with some anger management issues. “But he’s scrappy and plays a great game of golf.”

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By contrast, a women attorney who is sharp tempered or edgy risks being seen as high-strung, emotional or, that reliable leitmotif, bitchy.  If she switches gears to be more accomodating she could fall into the so-called “likeability vs. competence” trap, emerging “just-not-tough-enough” for the big city. (The good news: If the client is happy, all will be forgiven.)  I give you Rachel–  Top of her class.  Law review.  “But oh so abrasive.   So shrill.”

Example: Document Negotiations

In negotiating loan agreements for borrowers I took genuine umbrage at so-called “standard”, but over-reaching, provisions.  To spare my client an awkward exchange with his or her business partner, I preferred to express my displeasure during document negotiations, respectfully but firmly challenging the banker or his counsel to justify the provision as both fair and necessary.  I rarely yielded the point without registering genuine disappointment and bewilderment (but never anger) at the unsporting flavor of the lender’s legal documents.

My clients liked this common sense approach and we frequently won the point. (The unspoken message: Man up and do the right thing–strike the paragraph, even if in-house counsel wants it in, and preserve–even enhance–your reputation as a fair-minded businessperson.)  But I assure you that on every such call there were several men leaning on the mute button and rolling their eyes as they remarked on the harpy lawyer from Boston.

I chose this example because it is one of the easy ones; one of the situations for which I can offer concrete advice to all. It is also an area in which there is real room for hope, at least according to a recent Marquette Law School study showing that experienced women lawyers more often than not defy stereotyping in negotiations.

My Advice to Women Associates:

Negotiate strong and straight up in a forceful but balanced tone of voice.   Know your stuff. Be authoritative (in a collaborative kind of way….). Keep it simple. If possible, appeal to your opponent as a business person, not on legal grounds.  Finally, follow the concluding advice offered in the Marquette report.   And better yet, sign up for a negotiation training program.  (Be prepared to pay for it yourself, if your firm will not.)

And to Women Law Students

Do not graduate from law school without taking your school’s negotiation course or workshop, one which covers both the transactional and litigation contexts, if possible.  In an ideal world wide-band negotiation skills would be part of every law school’s core curriculum–but they’re not, so you may need to cross-register at a nearby business school or find a training program when you start work.  You must know how to argue your point, get your way and represent your client effectively in a fashion that suits your personal style and character, one which also takes into account the experience and biases of your audience.

Thanks for reading! 

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